On November 10, 2009 I awoke to my mother screaming for help. I ran out of my room as did my sister immediately upon getting downstairs I see my father laying on the floor struggling to breathe. After calling 911 all I remember is saying "I love you" over and over again as he was taking his last breaths. He died at fifty three and we still do not know the cause of death because of how messed up this city is, though we are pretty sure it was a heart attack. On that day my life changed forever losing my father has affected me every single day and it will for the rest of my life. Before my father's death I was a spoiled brat and almost never talked to my parents, granted I was a teenager, but my relationship with my father was not great when he died. My father was a very accomplished man, he was a special needs dentist and held the titles: DDS, FADPD, FACD, FICD, FPFA. As well as being on the American Board of Special Care Dentistry and a professor at the University of Tennessee College of Dentistry. After my father's death my relationship with my family changed drastically, my two older sisters Natalie (25) and Jennifer (27) and I stopped talking basically and I lived with my mother until January of 2011. When my dad died I was forced to grow up a lot and I have learned so many things from the loss. I had never had someone close to me die and now I see life much differently. Life happens so fast and it happens when you least expect it. I miss talking to my dad about science and religion, he was so smart he knew everything. He is my hero and if I can be half the man he was I will be happy. Death is a natural process we will all die one day and this traumatic experience made me realize how lucky we all are to be alive. I got eighteen great years with my father some people have never even met theirs. I am so lucky to have had the father I did. Do me a favor and do not make the same mistake that I did, give your dad a big hug for me because I would do anything for just one more.
My mother and father were married 33 and a half years.
(Left to right) Jennifer (27) Natalie (25) my older sisters and I in Texas.
It is a rather common phrase but a lot of times those are what we need to explain a simple concept. We never really know what we have until it's gone. Once it's gone, so many things change but we can generally find something to help up cope with what we are dealing with.
Having lost my dad at a young age I know that there is no one else who will ever be able to fill that shape in my life's heart. The loss of your dad is so recent that I imagine that you are still hurting. People try to comfort the bereaved saying that it gets easier over time. I have not found this statement to be true. We heal, and we move forward. However, loss remains. I can tell that you an insightful individual with many gifts, and I imagine that your father was very proud of you.
It is a rather common phrase but a lot of times those are what we need to explain a simple concept. We never really know what we have until it's gone. Once it's gone, so many things change but we can generally find something to help up cope with what we are dealing with.
ReplyDeleteYou've seriously got me tearing up over here, and I'm not joking. I haven't experienced a loss like this and I dread the day that it happens.
ReplyDelete*wipes eyes*
I don't want to leave a corny postcard-like message, but with you feeling the way you do about him now, I'm sure he'd be happy.
Having lost my dad at a young age I know that there is no one else who will ever be able to fill that shape in my life's heart. The loss of your dad is so recent that I imagine that you are still hurting. People try to comfort the bereaved saying that it gets easier over time. I have not found this statement to be true. We heal, and we move forward. However, loss remains. I can tell that you an insightful individual with many gifts, and I imagine that your father was very proud of you.
ReplyDeleteJessica